When my mother was dying, in Peoria

I used to sit on her porch,           

Smoke cigarettes                                    

Watch the sky

Across the road

A guard light flickered

Its warning to a tree limb's intrusion                     

I sat and smoked cigarettes                 

And waited for her to die                                

All the time       

Every night                              

In the darkness      

As I sat and waited       

Alone                            

Smoking cigarettes       

Wrapped in self pity and fear                                                       

And doubt

And dread of the unknown passage                                            

And separation from this woman                                                      

I never knew       

All alone       

Every night                               

From her neighbor's porch                     

Came the merciless ringing,       

Chiming       

Ringing                                

Of Chinese wind chimes     

And now                               

When I hear them ring       

I think of smoking cigarettes                                                     

And waiting to die!

8/13/96 @charles grifor

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